Broken Rites has collected the information below and shares it; our members have used some, though not all, of these resources, and we haven’t gone through a vetting process.
Broken Rites Area Representatives
Area Representatives are a personal point of contact for clergy (ex-)spouses/partners and may offer support in person, over the telephone, or in group meetings. To find out the representative for your area, contact us.
Bishop’s Visitors (Church of England)
Bishop’s Visitors help those with (ex-)spouses/partners in the Church of England access support from the diocese and provide information on housing, charities, legal assistance and benefits. They may provide spiritual and emotional support and reassurance. If you are unable to find your Visitor’s contact information through the Diocesan website or handbook, contact us.
See also: Policy and Guidance for the Church of England in the care of the spouses and partners of divorced and separated clergy (October 2021)
Facebook: Broken Rites
Our public-facing Broken Rites page describes who we are and what we do. Members are invited to join our Broken Rites Facebook group. The group is set to private, so is secure and confidential: all those you will meet there are divorced or separated clergy spouses who committed as full members of Broken Rites. The conversations we have are lively, frank, and very supportive. Message us through Facebook if you are a Member and want to join.
Facebook: Clergy Marriage in Crisis
For non-members: From a public page called Clergy Marriage in Crisis (CMiC), you can find your way to a private Facebook group; message CMiC via Facebook if you want to join. Those admitted to CMiC, at the discretion of the group admin, will find a supportive, confidential space. Whether things are really bad, or you are seeking reassurance through a ‘wobble’, we are here to listen, without preaching or judging. We recognise circumstances change and won’t be at all offended if you leave the group!
Clergy Spouse Support
Clergy Spouse Support is a blog created to support clergy spouses. There is also a presence on Facebook.
Church of England – Safeguarding
Each Church of England Diocese has a safeguarding team; the CofE website has a map with links.
Responding well to domestic abuse practice guidance document – see Section 2.5 – Clergy and Domestic abuse.
Non Church of England – Safeguarding
Non Church of England support
Please contact us for more detailed information about what support may be available for your denomination.
Northern Ireland and Republic of Ireland support
See the separate page on Resources for Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland
Other support – available to everyone
Abuse:
- Bright Sky – free app providing support and information to anyone who may be in an abusive relationship or those concerned about someone they know.
- ManKind Initiative – support men suffering from domestic abuse from their current or former wife or partner, including same-sex partners
- National Centre for Domestic Violence – specialise in providing free, fast and effective support to survivors of domestic violence and abuse, usually by helping individuals obtain injunctions from their local county court
- Refuge – freephone, 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247)
- Refuge tech safety – information and support on tech abuse
- Respect – helpline for male victims of domestic abuse
- Restored – a handbook for female, Christian survivors of domestic abuse
- Restored Survivors’ Network – building a community of female Christian survivors of domestic abuse
- Safe Spaces – a free and independent support service, providing a confidential, personal and safe space for anyone who has been abused through their relationship with either the Church of England, the Catholic Church of England and Wales or the Church in Wales
- Surviving Economic Abuse – UK charity dedicated to raising awareness of economic abuse and transforming responses to it
- Survivors voices – exist to untap the expertise of people affected by abuse in order to change society’s response to trauma
Advice:
- Citizens Advice – the online help from Citizens Advice Bureau and provides up-to-date information on your rights covering topics like benefits, housing, family matters,debt etc;
- Independent Age – can provide you and your family with clear, free and impartial advice on the issues that matter: care and support, money and benefits, health and mobility.
- MoneyHelper (formerly Money Advice Service) – a government website giving free, impartial advice on money matters including the steps to consider if facing divorce or separation;
- Relate – the UK’s largest provider of relationship support
Legal:
- Civil Legal Advice – you might be eligible for free and confidential advice from Civil Legal Advice (CLA) as part of legal aid if you’re in England or Wales.
- Find a solicitor – search of solicitors registered with The Law Society of England and Wales
- LawWorks – a charity working in England and Wales to connect volunteer lawyers with people who are not eligible for legal aid
- Resolution – community of family justice professionals who work with families and individuals to resolve issues in a constructive way.
- Rights of Women – helping women through the law
Mental and physical health:
- St Luke’s for clergy wellbeing – seeks to improve clergywellbeing and mental health. Contact to discuss eligibility
- Mind – provide advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem. We campaign to improve services, raise awareness and promote understanding.
Courses and retreats:
- Divorce Recovery Workshop – courses to help individuals come to terms with a relationship that’s irretrievably broken down;
- Restored Lives – courses on recovery from separation and divorce
- Separated Parents Information Programme – course which helps you understand how to put your children first while you are separating, even though you may be in dispute with your child’s other parent.
- Beauty from Ashes – a spiritual healing group, encourages those living through trauma or loss to find faith in Christ;
- The Retreat Association – a national Christian organisation set up to help people find ways of exploring and deepening their journey with God through spirituality and prayer.
- Holy Rood House – ecumenical resource; As well as professional, therapeutic support, or programmed events, our door is open for rest and relaxation, care for carers, spiritual retreat and accompaniment, training, study and sabbaticals or for a holiday.
Charities
Many charities provide specific support for different groups of people – some specifically for Anglicans where stated, others open to everyone. Some charities we are aware of include:
Clergy Support Trust (formerly Sons & Friends of the Clergy) – helps Anglican clergy and their families in times of need. The trust may be able to provide specified grants to separated and divorced clergy spouses or partners.
The Foundation of Edward Storey – provides help, grants, accommodation, and offer a number of services to those professionally connected to the Church of England in England or Ireland.
Bromley & Sheppard’s Colleges – provides some housing for clergy widows, divorced and separated spouses in converted flats in Bromley, Kent.
Church of Scotland Housing and Loan Fund – offers loans to support separated or divorced spouses and separated civil partners of ministers of the Church of Scotland.
Smallwood Trust – mission is to enable women to become financially resilient by equipping them with the skills they need to secure a confident financial future .
The Almshouse Association – a support charity representing over 1600 independent almshouse charities across the UK.
ButtleUK – may help with school fees and expenses for under 16s in crisis situations; applications through support workers.
The Rustat Trust makes hardship grants for the maintenance of school-age children of clergy ordained according to the rites of the Church of England. There are no restrictions on the clergy who may apply including: stipendiary or self-supporting clergy, clergy in parish or non-parochial roles and the families of deceased clergy. Grants are not made towards the payment of school fees except in special circumstances. Applications from parents of children with disabilities or learning difficulties, single parents, clergy ministering in areas of deprivation or in other circumstances of hardship are particularly welcome. Applications for grants are usually invited during Autumn. For more information contact chapel@jesus.cam.ac.uk.
Were these links useful? Please let us know which links you found useful, what you would like to see, and if you would like to join Broken Rites.