WHO ARE WE?

our story

We are a bunch of members from various traditions, different stages of life, in varying relationships to church, and at varying stages of recovery from marital breakdown. We are led by a committee of volunteers.

Broken Rites was formed in 1983 largely on the initiative of the Right Honourable Frank Field MP who had a particular interest in the social and emotional problems facing separated and divorced clergy spouses and partners. He invited anyone in this position to contact him. 26 people responded and so the group was formed. Our aims can be found on the “about us” page.

Tied housing was, and still is, a threat to our wellbeing and that of our children. If you are not the office-holder, you have zero rights to your home: no one told us that when we moved in!

In the early years, the majority of us had given years of unpaid full-time service to the church. That life was not without its rewards, but if the marriage ended, you’d better have rich friends and family. Those who had made “Vicar’s Wifing” a career could easily find themselves destitute; it’s still not unheard of for that early cohort to be doing Christmas with only a few pounds in the bank.

Since the ’80s, the picture has changed. We have welcomed husbands and same-sex partners to our ranks. Other denominations have shown themselves to have their share of similar problems. “Our” issues, including domestic abuse, coercive control, mental health, addiction, toxic leadership and spiritual abuse, as well as fuel (etc.) poverty and the housing nightmare, have been becoming more mainstream. You might expect that those going through marital breakdown would have an easier time of it these days, but that’s often not the case.

Publicising Broken Rites has never been easy. Many times we hear new members say they wish they’d known of us some years ago. “I thought I was the only one!”

What next?

We will continue to support separated and divorced spouses and partners of clergy of all denominations and provide positive support and understanding to families in need. Through engaging with research, we work to bring down the numbers of people eligible to be our members. We seek greater uniformity over issues such as re-instatement of ministry, and greater knowledge of the particular difficulties surrounding post-retirement relationship breakdown and divorce. We will campaign with others to raise awareness of the particular stresses which clergy families experience and for consistent support for those in need as a result of these stresses.